PARENTS, WE HOPE THIS HELPS

Communication with Teens: Things to Remember

Remember that during adolescence, communication generally decreases and a child will confide less in parents. This is a fairly normal process and should not be overreacted to.
Listen to what is being said; that is, try to understand the teenager's feelings and where she is coming from. Rather than thinking about arguments or retaliations, listen to her.
Stop what you are doing and look at the teenager. Listen when she speaks to you. Be sure that you are giving her the proper attention and that she is not talking to a newspaper or to your back.
Be sure most of your communication is positive, not negative. Don't dwell on mistakes, failures, misbehaviors, or something they forgot to do. Give them positive communication and talk about their successes, accomplishments, interests, and appropriate behavior.
Talk to them about their interests (e.g., music, sports, computers, dance-team practice, cars, motorcycles). Have conversations with them when you are not trying to make a point, to teach them something, or to impress them. Talk to them just to talk and to have positive verbal interaction.
Avoid talking too much - giving long or too-detailed explanations, repeating lectures, questioning excessively, or using other forms of communication that will result in the teenager turning a deaf ear to you.
Try to understand the teen's feelings. You do not have to agree or disagree with him; just make him aware that you understand how he feels. Do not try to explain away his emotions. There are times when you do not have to fix things or make the youngster feel better. Understanding how he feels may be the primary comfort that is needed.
Do not overreact to what is said. Remember, sometimes teenagers say things that are designed to get a reaction from their parents. In addition, do not say "no" too fast. Sometimes it is better to think about the request and give a response later. In other words, think before you open your mouth.
Try to create situations in which communication can occur (driving the child to the doctor's appointment, having the teenager help you with household tasks). You have to be physically close to the teenager for communication to occur. A television in the adolescent's room can be an additional barrier to family communication. Whenever possible, the parent should try to do things with the teenager, rather than separately. Although the child may not frequently accept them, provide opportunities for him to do things with you.
Try to avoid power struggles, confrontation, and arguing matches. Your goal should be to have the communication move toward a compromise situation, rather than a battle. When appropriate, involve the teenager in decision making and setting consequences for his or her behavior.

5 tips for smoothing rapport between students, teachers

It's hard to see your child face a bully on the playground or struggle with her reading. But a painful relationship with a teacher can be even more difficult, because children find it difficult to learn from someone they fear or dislike.

Here are some tips to help parents smooth out rocky relationships at school:

1. Listen carefully to your child's side of the situation. Ask open-ended questions and listen to the facts and your child's feelings. Ask for specific examples that make her think the teacher is "mean." Often, just listening helps a child put things into perspective and will help them feel better.

2. Brainstorm ways your child can improve the relationship. It usually takes two to fight. Can you help your child identify the trouble spots in his relationships? Does he talk too much at inappropriate times? Does she somehow make it difficult for the teacher to do her job?

3. Identify at least one behavior your child could change right away. For example, if a teacher complains about incomplete or messy work, your child could promise to finish all assignments on time for a week.

4. Meet with the teacher and compare perceptions. Start with a smile and a handshake and find at least one positive thing to say about the teacher or the classroom. Gently get to the point. Begin with, "This is what my child is feeling about coming to school. He thinks ..." Then ask the teacher what he or she thinks is going on. If you both focus on meeting the child's needs, you should be able to come up with a plan.

5. Go to the principal only after all else has failed. If the principal can't reassign your child to another teacher, he or she may be able to help you and the teacher find common ground.

Learning to work through difficult relationships takes time. But it's a life skill your child will need. Self-esteem and confidence will soar when children can work out these problems on their own, with your support.

Source: Linda Wacyk, Partnership for Learning

HERE IS ANOTHER GREAT PARENT TIP.

6 ways parents can support school success

1. Talk to your child's teachers regularly. Don't wait for a "problem" or a scheduled meeting -- check with teachers as you are picking your child up from school, or through notes and phone calls, to find out if things are going.

2. Support your child's teachers through the school year. Teachers seek support for good student behavior and discipline, contact between the home and school, and respect for education.

3. Be clear and direct about your expectations. Let your child's teachers know you want teachers who recognize you support your child's education. As a parent, you deserve to be treated with respect by the adults at your child's school. You have a right to hear about any problems your child is having, and you should be involved in creating solutions to those problems.

4. Let your child's teacher know about situations at home that may affect his or her ability to concentrate on school work. A family health crisis, unemployment, non-English speaking parents, and other issues may affect how well your child can function in school, so teachers need this information to provide support and assistance to your child -- and you.

5. Let your child know you have confidence in his ability to be successful in school. Let him know his education is important and you have high expectations for his success.

6. Attend parent-teacher conferences at least once a year. Conferences let you get to know your child's teacher better. Ask about your child's progress and keep the lines of communication open. Don't be afraid to ask questions.

Source: National Education Association